Sometimes you just can’t do anything

Sometimes you just realize that there is nothing you can do.  Sometimes all you can do is wait on someone else.  There is nothing I can do but wait, so that’s what I will do.  I know how to wait.  I have been waiting for years now, and I can wait longer.  I just don’t like to wait when I don’t know if anything will even happen.  Yup, so I wait.  It will be worth it if something happens in the end.
I had a concert last night at Seville Square.  It was their “Holiday Evening”.  It is kind of funny that they call it a “Holiday Evening” to me.  I mean, I could see it called that if it addressed multiple faiths, but it didn’t.  Everything that happened last night was Christmas oriented.  It really wasn’t a “Holiday Evening”, because only one holiday was addressed.  Oh well, what do I know anyway?  Right now, I am the only mallet percussionist there, and since I play multiple instruments, I like to keep them all close to me.  That gazebo is way too small for us, so I usually get put at the very edge.  I put the xylophone in front of me, the chimes on my left side and the bells on my right side.  Playing bells sideways feels kind of weird, but it makes it a lot easier to make quick changes between instruments.  Here’s where one of the interesting parts of the night comes in.  The gazebo isn’t big enough, period.  So, they put tables behind the gazebo for the percussion section on the left side and the timpani on the right side.  I don’t mean sturdy tables either.  They wobble so much that I’m always uncertain if they’re going to hold up or sink into a bog.  This concert, I have vibraphone parts too, so I put the vibraphone next to the timpani.  This only left me about 3 inches of the edge of the table to step down from the gazebo to the table, which is fine.  I am not clumsy.  I can step down like that without losing my balance.  The problem is that a lot of dumb wind players like to put their stupid cases on the tables too, so they don’t get dirty.  Not only are they not allowed to do that, but it doesn’t give us any room.  I only have a few measures to step down from the gazebo to the table in the dark.  If there is a case there, I am going to trip and break my neck.  I became sort of a Nazi over cases ever since that time when I was marching bass drum in high school.  A tuba player thought it would be a cool idea to put his bell case in the door way.  When I tripped over it, I snapped the bass drum rim in half and had lugs slash deeply down the soft sides of my arms.  I was especially not happy when the director said I should have been watching where I was walking.  Obviously he had never worn a large bass drum before.  You can’t see anything below you.  Since that day, I have absolutely no reservations about throwing instrument cases out of my way if I need to.  Last night, I stood with my instruments and asked to keep my area clear.  If people put their instruments there when I wasn’t looking, I just put them in the dirt.  They already know they aren’t allowed to put them on the tables anyway.  So this one older man puts his instrument case in my area, and I asked him to move it.  It was crazy.  He just glared at me and didn’t say anything, as if I were asking him to commit genocide or something.  I didn’t look away or anything though.  I just stared back until he moved.  I just thought it was pretty ridiculous.  How dumb can people be?  Patsy told me that she will be retiring from the band in March.  She’s been there 18 years.  I don’t know what to think about that.  Gary has been there about 30 years.  He says the hardest players to keep there are mallet players.  He doesn’t know why.  I could make a few guesses.
I played alright last night, beside the fact that the stupid chime pedal broke during the first song.  I am not used to playing bells sidewise, which messed me up a few times.  It was my best night, but I did fairly well.  I was also supposed to have a second mallet player last night, but she didn’t show up.  I was more able to cover multiple parts with the bells at my side so that I didn’t have to shift to change instruments.  I also had to completely fake an important part in one of the songs because the other mallet player had the music.  I faked it just fine, but I don’t like having to do that.  Only the beginning of it was exposed, and it is at the very beginning of the song.  It was kind of funny, because he was looking around the back of the band looking for someone to conduct to start the song.  Then his eyes met mine, and I gave him a “I’m gonna fake it look.”  So, he started, and I started.  Heh.  I knew the first few measures of it somehow, so when I got to where it wasn’t exposed, I switched to the mallet part I was supposed to be playing.  Can’t play without music.  I was a little disappointed because he ran out of time, and he cut out the song I had practiced most; the one I had a solo in.
I posted a schedule of everything going on during finals week.  It is going to be bad.  I have a short concert at Sacred Heart Hospital on Friday, December 8th.  On Sunday, December 10th, I have agreed to fill in as the mallet player with Marcus Pointe Orchestra for their “Spirit of Christmas Concerts”.  On the Monday and Tuesday nights after, I have a pair of matching “Holiday Scholarship Benefit Concerts” with the Civic Band.  All the Civic Band concerts will consist of music I have already played during the concert last night, but the ones for Marcus Pointe are different.  I have the music, and it doesn’t look so difficult.  Yes, I have finals too.  Software Engineering final is that Monday afternoon.  Mathematical Statistics final is Tuesday morning.  Operating Systems final is Wednesday morning.  I had to reschedule OS final because of the Monday night concert.  Theory of Computation final is Wednesday night.  I have gotten these days off to dedicate to studying.  However I played last night will be all I get, because I will likely not practice (except run through) before those concerts.  I won’t have time to practice with all these finals too.  Can you believe it?  That’s six concerts!  Sigh…
I was pretty stressed this week.  I have just been so stressed from all this stuff hitting me at once.  Missing her doesn’t help either.  David and Nick say that I am an angry person.  I haven’t always been that way.  Just so much junk has hit me this year.