One more on the list

I just can’t understand why people have to be so dishonest with me. I really wish that people would just tell me what’s on their mind. For those who don’t know, I have a little Dan’l-style modification on my instant messenger. Its purpose: Basically, if anyone blocks me on the AIM service, I know about it. You might think that’s an unfair modification, but I disagree. I think I have a right to know who purposely isn’t talking to me. Anyway, someone who I thought was becoming a good friend to me just randomly blocked me a few days ago and isn’t talking to me. It is like the person just disappeared. In itself, it would be okay. People come and go, but it isn’t okay when there is no warning. When the person acts like everything is okay, and then just suddenly doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, that just hurts.
I guess I just have to get used to it. Over the past few months, I have had a lot of people that I considered best friends suddenly attack me, betray me, or otherwise disappear. It has gotten to the point to where I just don’t want to have anything to do with anyone. I got rid of my cell phone; I stopped paying attention to email and IM; I canceled my facebook and myspace. Basically, all news has become bad news. People who I long since concluded would always be friends to (or at least on good terms with) me turned into venomous asps. Friends pretty much started to only talk to me when they needed me to fix something for them. My friends were just using me, and they didn’t really care about what was going on in my life. Either that or they mocked. Even the person I considered to be my best friend became completely unreachable. Now, it really feels like only two of my best friends want to have anything to do with me, and one of them I am starting to have doubts about. I did get a new cell phone, but I have a different number. It was mainly out of necessity more than anything else. Most of the people that need to know the new number already know it.
My classes this term are difficult, but I have been completely unmotivated this term. I just don’t have the energy anymore after the last three terms. I’m worried this term is going to end up very badly for me. I just feel so tired.