Haven’t Written in a Long Time

Well, apparently I haven’t written anything in over a month, and there has been so many things going on that I’ll have to do my best to remember everything that has happened.
Any other people out there with a weblog have this problem? I find that the hardest part when starting an entry is to decide what my title should be. When I finally decide to write, I don’t have any trouble writing. The problem is that I just let it all out, so what I have written has no real topic. Most people I know seem to write often and write about a little. I, on the other hand, do not write often, but when when I do, I write about a lot.
I can’t really say in few words how I have been since last I wrote. I’ve gone from being ecstatically happy to miserably upset and every possible level in between. I think I’ll start with college. I finished my spring term. Man, I thought my fall term was hard with five classes. That term was a cakewalk compared to this spring term. That term ate me alive up to the point that I was not enjoying anything in life, and I’m not kidding. I wouldn’t go anywhere; I wouldn’t do anything. I studied constantly, and I still don’t think I did well. I had two D’s going into the final exams. Yeah… it was that bad. I studied my tail off for those finals. I managed to turn one of those D’s into a B-, and the other into a C+. Another grade I had was a A, but because I concentrated on those two finals it fell to a B+. My other two grades were exactly what I thought they would be: A and B. My GPA is now a 3.6, which is the lowest it has ever been. I’m not really happy about it. I feel so average. I guess I’m just going through a phase or something, but I am starting to feel like there isn’t really anything I am exceptionally good at. I feel like everything I have been doing has either been average work or just enough to get by. Kate had always told me that I was a perfectionist. I certainly don’t feel like a perfectionist now. I used to make straight A’s in all my classes, but not anymore. Then there is civic band. I know that I’m not great anymore. If I had to guess, I would say that I’m probably as good at mallets as I was when I was a sophomore. For civic band, I guess that’s good enough, but it is what I said: I feel like I’m just doing enough to get by. Then there is work. I don’t do a bad job at work. If something needs to get done, it gets done, but I feel like there is so much that I don’t know. I can’t just look at a problem, diagnose it, and fix it. Usually, I have to look at a problem, research the problem, and then fix the problem. I wish I knew enough to where I wouldn’t have to research or ask questions. Then there is church and Christianity. I’ve already said it previously I think. I am a 20 year old college guy, and I don’t feel as though I am the greatest Christian in the world. There are things that I struggle with. And then girls, the only word I have to express my performance in that regard is horrible. So yeah, I guess there isn’t really much that I’m great at. I just do what I can to get by. I am taking two courses this summer: Biostatistics and Discrete Mathematics. These are two math courses that I have heard are easier than what I’ve already seen, so I hope to make two A’s and maybe pull my GPA up a bit. Heh, GPAs don’t really go up. They either go down or stay where they are. That seems to be the mathematics of GPAs. My summer classes start on June 12th. I thought it would be nice to have a little bit of a break, but… I am working full time. Still nice to not have any homework, or projects, or papers, or rituals. James either got fired or quit. He and my boss can’t seem to agree on which it is.
Oh, I got a new computer too. I bought it all in parts; I didn’t go through a manufacturer. I guess the best way to describe my computer is big and green. It is a green computer. It has a duel core AMD Athlon64 processor. The mainboard is a nVidia nForce Ultra chipset (which I do not recommend). I’m running 2 GB of RAM dual channel. I have a 250 GB sata hard disk with 16 MB of cache (I got it for the cache, not the capacity). I got a nVidia GeForce 7600 GS video card with 256 MB of onboard memory. The power supply is a 520 watt (not pushing it because it still lives under my 350 watt Back UPS). The power supply has a speed adjustable fan. I also have DVD writer. The case has a temperature display. In the end when I counted all the fans, it added up to about 11. I don’t have all my fans running though. So, yeah, it has all the bells and whistles. A powerful machine. I am not happy with the mainboard though. It is a nice board, but the chipset programmers are horrible I guess. The chipset it came with through BSOD (blue screen of death) constantly. When I went to the mainboard manufacturer (Biostar), I couldn’t find any chipset updates. I finally found an updated chipset from nVidia. This took away the BSOD, but the gigabit LAN still doesn’t work well. I finally just bought a DLink PCI NIC and disabled the onboard LAN, and now it seems to run pretty solid. Still, all in all, save yourself the headache and don’t go with nVidia for your mainboard chipset. I never was that fond on nVidia anyway. I took my old Dell Dimension 2400 and put Suse Linux 10 on it. I was going to put MacOS X on it and make it a “hackentosh”, but the processor on it doesn’t support SSE3. It understands SSE2, but I didn’t want the hassle. Plus, the legality of doing that is like… nada. I like Mac, but I don’t want to buy a Mac. Rather, I am running Suse Linux 10, which I am happy with. It is nice. I could make it my primary operating system, but we live in a Windows XP world right now.
Yep, we are still moving. I thought we were moving in April, but it still hasn’t happened. We are moving in July according to mom. The house isn’t finished yet, but it looks like it is almost finished. They are brick laying right now I think. I wired a Cat .5e cable from my room to my dad’s office so that he won’t be on WLAN anymore. It has been giving him a lot of problems. I had a repeater, but I think it overheated. Dumb manufacturer. If it was in danger of overheating in an air conditioned environment, they should have added a fan or not sold it at all. Oh well. If there’s one thing I had, it is poorly manufactured equipment. Since I am not a business, it is something I just have to deal with.
Yesterday was an absolute horrible night for me. But, the only way to go into detail about it is to go into detail about a lot of things. I don’t want to go into detail about everything right now. Certain people will just give me drama if I talk about it online.