Sentimental Values Lost

Data loss is horrible, very horrible. Microsoft Outlook, does anyone know why PST files disappear? I mean, I know why it happened, but it is completely ridiculous that it does. You see, when you are working in Microsoft Outlook and there is some sort of improper shut down or power failure, there is a possibility that you will lose your data files. Probably especially if you use the autoarchive feature in Outlook. Here is my individual story. I was working on my home computer from work (via VNC), and my VNC server stopped responding for whatever reason. So, I sent a Telnet command to my computer to tell it to shutdown and restart. When the computer finished restarting, I logged in and opened Outlook, and guess what, the PST file was missing. Gone! GONE GONE! There wasn’t a single PST file on my hard drive. So, I went into a shock, and then slowed down to figure out what I could do about it. I was actually thinking about backing up my PST file the day before, but I didn’t do it (something that vital should be backed up automatically by the program anyway). Then, I continued on to try to use a file restorer application to dig through my hard drive and find the deleted mess. If you didn’t know it, when a file is deleted from your computer, it isn’t actually cleared from your hard drive. All references to its location are cleared. The actually data just stays there until something is written on top of it, just like a recordable video or audio tape. Recovering a file once it has been deleted isn’t that difficult, if you know what you are doing. It is just a matter of finding the file and being able to identify it without the benefit of the proper filename. So, I tried that, and I got somewhere with that. I recovered the actual files after a few hours. In the end, that didn’t help that much. The files I recovered were far too corrupt for me to repair. I could recover some bits and pieces or it, but this was no small record. I don’t delete email; I keep them. I had email that was over five years old. Well, maybe some people won’t understand, but I had a lot of sentimental value in there, and I am very upset. Shoot, I even had email in there from when I was still with my first girlfriend. I just had a lot of memories. I guess I just have to leave the past in the past. You should know by how far back this very journal goes back how I am about keeping records. The human brain is very similar to a hard drive, if the hard drive had an infinite amount of data. Memories are lost only because your files are not all stored in the same place in your mind and your brain doesn’t always remember where the files are located. Nothing is ever deleted; you just don’t know where it is. A hard drive is different because it can overwrite, something a healthy brain shouldn’t do. People take advantage of this, of course. Police search deleted yet not overwritten hard drives to find kiddy porn. Military find terrorist plots. Thieves find bank records. I am probably going to be upset about this for a week or two, then I’ll harden up and get over it.
You know, my friends sure do let me down. I try so hard to help a friend when they need someone to talk to, but I really don’t think any of my friends are like that toward me. I have a number of friends that I would really like to spend time with but they can’t because they don’t have time and any time they do have is spent with their boyfriend or girlfriend. And I know what happens, because it has happened to me more times than I can count. The boyfriend or girlfriend does something hurtful or maybe even breaks up with my friend, then the friend needs me for comfort. I don’t mind this, but why does it take a hurtful situation for people to let me into their lives? I don’t mind being there for the bad times, but what about all the other times? People use me, and I don’t even know that they realized what they’re doing to me. I’m just tired of friends that blow me off when I need someone to talk to. There is always some kind of reason. It seems every year my friends get more and more undependable.
I went to work today. It was very different. Since classes officially started today, I have been pushed down to a 20 hour per week employee. The campus is also different because there are actually people on campus. Just more obstacles of the golf cart. Tomorrow will be my own first day of classes, since I am not taking any Monday classes. I borrowed and bought books for four of my classes. I will probably buy another one tomorrow during my break. I also stopped by PJC today since I was nearby buying books anyway. I talked to Dr. Waters, Tom, Lori, and Rose. It was nice to see them. I have quite a few nice memories with them. That job was so steady and easygoing. I generally enjoyed my time at PJC. It is sad to me that PJC isn’t doing well. Every semester since hurricane Ivan, they’ve had lower and lower enrollment. I basically just let them know what I was up to. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even smart enough to have the job I have.
I should get a mac.