Frustrations.

Well, I have finished the spring term, and I have jumped right into summer A. I did make an A in Biological Principles for Non-Majors, which was possible but intangible. I suppose that I made A’s on my last assignments. Somehow I pulled that off. So, I get the glory privileges of a 4.0 for another term. I wonder if it really matters. Anyway, summer A has started. I am taking Economics 1 and Ethics. Both classes have started off on a bad foot. It probably mostly because this is a summer term. For one, I order my books from Amazon.com on Tuesday the 4th. My Economics book arrived that Thursday, but my Ethics book came today. School started Monday. Now I have a lot of reading to do to be caught up. I’m not that worried about it, because she tells us what’s on the tests the day before them. The curricula of Ethics isn’t all that compatible with me. Ethics is a philosophical look of what and who are right and wrong (to different cultures) and why it is so. Kind of annoying to someone who believes that people, in general, are not good at all. Philosophy pretty much isn’t compatible with me, but I think I can play the part to get the grade. A lot of people can’t do that. I’d like to think of myself as a pretty good filter. I can take in a lot of stuff that I think is crap, but it won’t change me unless I someone agree with it. Economics is just stupid. We’ve had three class sessions, and we’ve had three different instructors, all discussing the same material. Apparently our actually instructor is a little too busy to come to work. She’s in the process of buying and selling homes, and this is going to be the last class she teaches at PJC. She came yesterday, but the day before and today, we had substitutes. Its going to be hard. We keep reviewing the same material (which I know from high school). We my instructor actually does decide to come, I’m sure that she is going to stuff five chapters into one day so we can have a test. Yes its ridiculous, yes its a pain, yes I feel ripped off, and yes I want my money back, but what can I do? I’ll just do my best to teach myself the material. Work is tiring. I start work at seven in the morning, and I go to class and come back. I leave for home around 4:00. I don’t like it that much. Oh, and I don’t get any time to eat, so… I guess its a good thing though. Staying busy keeps my mind off all the stupid stuff in my life, and boy there’s a lot of it. When I get home, I study and eat. After that I’m too tired to think of anything else.
Friday is going to be annoying. I would like to go the my high school’s spring concert, but I have other obligations. Grr… I hate obligations. Especially when they aren’t intended to be obligations. Things that are intended to be “for fun”. Quick thing about me: I consider very few things to be fun. There are very few people that I enjoy being around for extended periods of time. Quick test to see if you are one of them: If I talk to you about semi-intimate details of my life or way of thinking, then you are someone I like to be around. Most people, on the other hand, I do not talk to. You have absolutely no idea what or how I think. When I’m around you, I am playing the part of a polite person, when in actuality, I’d rather be doing something else. There is no use trying to get to know me, because I already know you well enough to know that we do not have anything in common. I am very particular about who I share things with, and if you are so privileged (or cursed depending on your perception) to have me share something with you, I am still probably holding a lot from you. I only like to be around people that I connect with, most people don’t connect with me. Another big point: I do NOT like to be touched. If you touch me like the immature person that you probably are, then I probably really don’t like you. I am not a “redneck”, and I never will be. If I do not want to be around you, then don’t try to push it. The more you try to control my life, the less credibility you’ll have with me. So anyway, Grr! I want to go to the spring concert Friday! But people that I do not connect with are trying to control me, and I hate it. No need to get into anything anymore specific.
I am getting accustomed to this idea of no one having a whole lot of influence over me. I like to be in control of my own life. I am responsible for my own well-being, work, education, and spirituality. I do a pretty good job with each other them. These are freedoms that I hold deal. No one truly has authority over me but me. I used to enjoy having someone have some control over me, but now that that’s gone, I am happy with the way things are now. If that makes you sad, then just remember how many chances you had.
DSL lines have been run to my house. It won’t be long now.